Wednesday, October 22, 2008

George W. Bush says, "Screw it, I'm not leaving!"

Well Buff and I early voted yesterday! I am so glad. My civic duty and constitutional rights were exercised to their fullest. I am one proud motherf***in’ American baby! Now all of you can stop sending me your emails proclaiming the “opponent of who you think I’m voting for” to be the anti-Christ. Make no mistake, my collection of friends comes from both sides of the aisle, from Wall Street and Main Street (I am so tired of hearing that phrase, aren’t you?) and I get emails from both sides. I don’t like any of them (the emails I mean, I love my friends very much). Friends, loved ones, strangers who have had their emails forwarded to me, you are not going to change my vote, as I make my decision based on information not gathered exclusively from the internet. As a side note, I’d like to point out that just because something appears on the internet, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s true. Just a quick skim of the recent internet headlines that are obviously false; Keith Richards snorts his dad’s ashes, the whole Joe the plumber thing (who cares if he’s a real plumber?) the story that Tina Fey has actually been briefed by the Secret Service in the event that McCain/Palin wins the election to serve as a decoy and of course the whole Jennifer Aniston/John Mayer thing, like that could be real, (for obvious reasons)!
One of our wisest speakers and voices of conscience, Mr. Bernie Mac, in reference to the Y2K scare once said; “Ya’ll was scared like a muthaf****r! Ya’ll thought ya’ll was sure enough gonna be dead come 12:00. Buying all the sardines, potted meat, and water. Stop believing everything you read! Believe in yourself! I don’t believe in s**t until s**t happens.”
In this election year, just remember that every candidate is telling you what they’ll do for you to get your vote. Every candidate is telling you what’s wrong with the other side and why if you vote for them it will be the total destruction of our civilization. I recommend you use my proven vetting system. Go into your local Republican headquarters and your local Democratic headquarters. Ask for a McCain/Palin t-shirt and an Obama/Biden t-shirt. When they start to charge you for them, tell them that if they give it to you for free, you’ll vote for their candidate. Best case scenario; both headquarters say “no” (because that would be wrong) and you find a small glimmer of honesty in politics. Worst case scenario; you get one or two free t-shirts that you can sell on eBay, to help cover your share of the 700 billion dollar bailout!
I will say on a slightly serious tip, that I do have one dear friend on the opposite side of the fence that I discuss politics with. He’s the only person that I’m able to talk about it without him getting upset or angry or him making me angry, (although I have said some outlandish things trying to get him off his game!) The discussion is important. We don’t do enough of it in this country. Everybody (me included) says, “I’m not going to discuss my political or my religious beliefs because it’s no one’s business but mine.” True enough, but dialogue (not ranting but debate) is the most ancient and honorable way we humans have to communicate and try to enlighten each other. The other person may not ever see things your way, but at least they might gain a better understanding of who you are as person and understanding makes love more possible, not less. I realize now having written this that this is the point of this whole blog and I wish I had opened with it, because I know some of you will see the first few lines about politics and immediately delete this! At least that what somebody wrote recently. I hope not. Every blog that comes from my two fingers, (I took typing in high school! But you should see my wife type man! That girl can go! All her fingers baby! And they’re sexy fingers too!) Is about love. Postivity. We need more of it everywhere. If you laugh when you read something from here, forward it to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while and just say, “Just thought about you and thought this would make you smile! Love, ….” What’s it gonna hurt? God bless each of you and may God continue to bless America!

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